Goodbye Commercials. Hello Product Placement.

I hate commercials. I really do. In fact, I detest them. But they are everywhere on TV. In fact, despite what Sirius would have you believe, they are on sataliette radio too. And not just radio program commercials, real, actual commercials you can hear on free radio too. And that just upsets me. I was lied to. I was misinformed. I was mislead. And they broke my trust. (I also hate the big blue light it casts everywhere. That just isn't for me.) But there is a tool I can use to get rid of them for TV.

DVR. Digital Video Recorder.

Holy schmoly it's a freakin' amazing thing. Sure, it records just like any normal, outdated video recorder, but it has one added feature on the remote: The 30-Second skip button. That, my friends, Romans, countrymen, is a miracle in itself. Now I can record a show and skip-skip-skip right through the commercials.

But I'm sure you don't need me to tell you the benefits of a recorder. I'm just here to tell you how I can't watch live TV anymore. Even sporting events are hard. I keep reaching for the remote. I have used our DVR all the time. All the time. I record The Daily Show with John Stewart everynight it is on. That way I can watch it the next day after work. The show is already hours late on new stories, what's an extra couple of hours after that? I'm not watching it for the news. I'm watching it for the news on the news. So John does his little opening thingy, probably flips it to a 'Senior' something or other then heads to commercial.

My remote is ready. Skip-skip-skippity skip. Right back to The Daily Show. Then they probably go to the 'on location' story. Pre-recorder I would have akwardly looked around as the reporter put the interviewee in a very precarious situation, maybe I would have made myself a sandwich or something. I don't know, I just know I wanted the interview to be over because I don't find them particularly funny.

But that was pre-recorder days. Now, skip-skip-skippity-skip-skip-skip-skip right through that ridiculus piece of garbage. Probably into another commercial. So I skip some more. Then the interview. If I find the person particularly engaging I will watch it. If not, then I skip to the end of the show and erase forever. Fantastic.

But that's not the only show. Oh no, listen to this: I love 24. It's awesome. I'm addicted to the cliff hangers that seem to happen every 15 minutes, right in time for a commercial break. But I hate watching commercials, so I record this show too. In fact I recorded the first two hours last night, and anticipated watching it today. Which I did. However, it was 8:01 real time and there was still 12 minutes left in the show I had recorded and was watching. I can't watch a recorded show and record a live show, it doesn't work that way. (Did I mention we got this DVR free from Dish (Texas) Network? <-If you watch The Daily Show then you would have gotten that.) So, instead of skipping the last 12 minutes (which I would have been caught up with in the previews for the new show) and watching the newest episode live, I stopped the recording at a commercial break and started recording the newest one. Then I turned the TV off and came down here.

Because I detest commercials. I'll be a day behind if it means no commercials. That's fine by me. So right now I have 2 hours and 12 minutes of Jack Bauer's day I still have to watch. Tomorrow shall be fun.