Just A Heads Up

Yeah, so after next weekend I might be dead. Or in a coma. Either one. I think sports are gonna be the death of me. Or put me in a wheelchair by the time I'm 50. I think I'd rather be dead actually.

1. Saturday April 2nd: Track Meet @ LVC
   
2. Sunday April 3rd:Volleyball Tournament @ DeSales
   
3. Monday April 4th: Volleyball Match @ Albright
   
4. Wednesday April 6th: Volleyball Match @ Franklin and Marshall
   
5. Friday April 8th: Volleyball Match @ Millersville
6. Saturday April 9th: Track Meet @ Messiah

Little side note: Franklin and Marshall probably has a worse nickname than we do. The Franklin and Marshall Diplomats. C'mon, how scary is that? At least ours is a death omen, they, by definition, have to be friendly.

Burn Headlights When Wipers are Engaged, Please.

I hate tractor trailers, big rigs, 18 wheelers, whatever you want to call them.

First of all, they are tall and block out the sun. Or sightlines, whichever.

Second of all, they can be extremely dangorous to cars in lanes beside them. Don't know if it's the lack of sleep, the alcohol, or the high winds, but it's scary passing next to one. And don't even get me started when you have to pass one and there is an extra high Jersey Wall right next to you. It's a terrifying moment when you're driving in a car that's only as tall as one of those 18 wheels.

And third, although this doesn't affect me as much, each tractor trailer driving on the highway produces as much stress on the road's surface as something like 900 (or was it 9ooo) cars.

But factor in the terrifying drive next to a tractor trailer with the fact it's raining really hard and the tires are spraying water on your windshield, it's almost enough to lose a nerve. BUT... if there is someone driving in your lane ahead of the big rig without their lights on, then BAM! you're in for a treat.

Today I got a chance to deal with this situation on the way back to school on PA 15.

I, for one, speed up as I approach an 18 wheeler in the lane beside me, especially when it is raining. My plan is to travel through the water blast as quickly as possible, for it isn't considered smart to chug along inside the blast. So as I am passing the back tires, I speed up to make it through the other side relatively unscathed before the road dips or turns while I am in the temporary blindness that is this water blast.

And wouldn't you know, as soon as I am about to clear this blast, I notice a faint object ahead of me. Is it a deer, a racoon, a cardboard box? Nope, it's a car without it's lights on.

I think there is a state law against this sort of monstrosity. Had this car been closer to the water blast I may have hit them. Not because I was speeding too fast to avoid collision (this isn't the case, I know how my car handles the water - not too well), but instead because some pre-occuppied yuppie decided it was more important to change the radio than to turn on their lights. And had this car been closer, and I had seen them, I would have been stuck in the one place I was trying to aviod, the water blast. Oh sure, I could have backed off, but had I done that I would never had known when this car left my lane for some more coffee.

The situation could have turned bad, but luckily this person was a decent ways away so I could continue through the water blast freely and emerge on the other side safely.

Further down the road, I saw more cars, trucks, and SUV's without lights on. It's raining hard, the sun isn't out, and other people have their lights on, how come these people don't?

Seriously, I believe there is a state law against this, the only problem is when the situation arises it's raining, and how many police officers would want to get out of their car to explain to these people their lights need to be on? I wouldn't, then I would be all wet and soggy when I get back to the car - and that would not make for a very pleasant rest of the day.

So please, when driving through rainstorms, please use common sense and turn your lights on, please.

And now, to this week's list, in the -ishy theme of questions:

1.Which is better: You are not. You're not. You aren't. or You'ren't. I personally like the last one, it sorta rolls off the tongue - in a southern sorta way.

2.Can you really be pulled over on a road that has a suggested speed limit? Apparently, a van was pulled over on an entrance ramp.

3.But since the road doesn't really have a speed limit, can I go as fast as I want? As long as I decelerate to the road's posted speed limit, shouldn't I be alright?

4.Speaking of suggested speed limits, should a Sharp Turn sign with a suggested speed limit of the road's posted limit really be there? Either the suggested speed limit sign should go, or the turn really isn't that sharp and the sharp turn sign can go and the suggested speed limit sign could be replaced with a 'Same Speed Idiot' sign.

5.Or is it in the best intrest in traffic flow? What that combination of signs is really saying then, is there is a sharp turn, but it really isn't sharp enough to warrent any application of the brake pedal, therefore keeping traffic flow at a constant rate.

6.Is this another PA bashing post? Nope, all these (minus the van pulled over on the entrance ramp) happened in MD. Our roads may be smooth, but the signs will confuse the hell out of you.

7.How come the only banks with branches in one county have 'national' in the title? Wishful thinking, or Napoleon complex?

8.How come speed limits always decrease at the bottom of hills? Either the laws of physics are scewed in a car, or brake mechanics and the road crews have made a deal.

9.Speaking of something fishy, do the Cardinal Points not apply to road crews also? Riddle me this, how can you make a left turn from 97 south to 32 south?

10.If I come to the stop bar at a 4 way stop sign, do I always have to wait for the car in front of me to go, then have 3 other cars go, thus making it my turn to go? Really? What if the person in front of me pulls in front of the stop bar to make his stop, thus allowing me the right of way to stop just behind the stop bar. Since I technically came to a complete stop behind the stop bar, shouldn't I really have the right to follow the car in front of me through the intersection instead of waiting for the three other suckers to go before continuing my journey?

11.Why didn't you just write that out in a seperate post? Yeah, probably should have done that. Oops.

12.What has he been doing with his time, I see no SimCity5 for sale... Apparently Will Wright is creating a game that will change the way games are made (or something to that effect. All I know is mathmeticians, like Bob (the racist) actually have a job that can affect people, unlike say, teaching.)

13 14.Can you really lose something that isn't there? 'Right Shoulder Closed Ahead' when really, there isn't any paved surface to the right of white line.

As Seen Through Green Eyes

Ever wonder why I don't like going home to Maryland often? Perfect example tonight. My brother is in town for the weekend, he leaves Sunday (Easter) morning to go back to South Carolina, and my dad held a barbeque for him Saturday Night. My grandmother (dad's side) was invited, along with her new 'male friend'.

Night started out alright, until they started talking about my future.

Listen, I don't fully know what I'm tonight, how would I know about my future? But, like all great grandmothers, she decided to throw her two cents into the ring.

"So your dad tells me you changed majors, Bill was upset when I told him you weren't doing the same thing as he was"

Bill (just met him, mind you): "Yeah, you're studying History now? It's very different than Eletrical Engineering. There is a big market for Electrical Engineers..." (First off, I never wanted to do electrical engineering, so I don't like you already, Bill)

"And it doesn't pay as well as Engineering would either" she decides to add from the kitchen.

AARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

So here I am getting information on my 'preferred' career path from a woman who made her eldest son go to Law School in order to become a lawyer. The same lady who complains about the car my dad drives because it 'doesn't show off the prestige a Lawyer should convey.'

Never mind my dad has never in his life bought a brand new car, and the main courthouse he goes to is, oh 3 blocks from his office. If he wanted to impress someone, shouldn't he really have some expensive shoes? And maybe a nice silk tie. But no, a car, A CAR! that's what he needs. That's what he should buy to show 'he is a powerful lawyer who can take any case'. Blah, blah, blah.

Now this isn't the first time I've had this 'you'll only be happy with money' talk. When I made the decision to not attend the Air Force Academy she was upset. Probably because she couldn't brag to her friends that her grandson was going to be 'studying Civil Engineering at the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, Colorado'.

She did try to talk me into going there because, well one of her friend's sons went there and is now making 80 thousand dollars 4 years after graduation.

"Yes, that is nice, but it isn't about the money, it's if you love your job."

"Yeah, that's what they say," she replied. Of course, I'm pretty sure she didn't believe that.

I know I shouldn't have thought this would be any different, for my sister went through the same thing when she started college. She was doing Elementary Education, and at every family function my grandmother made it a point to let Emily know teachers didn't make all that much money.

Unlike you, we do have a good memory, and yes we do know it because you told us before, many a times. Many, many, many times.

It doesn't matter that I am studying History now because I have always loved history. Nor does it matter that I plan on studying architecture in grad school after I graduate. Oh no, that doesn't matter, the big picture is not seen by my grandmother. She only sees what is best for her grandchildren, too bad her eyesight is tinted green.

Get 'Em While They're Hot

Last three volleyball match dates of the season, after this the 2005 campaign is done and I focus on track (or getting an MRI, x-ray, and chemical treatments to my leg):

April 3rd: @ DeSales. Tournament.
April 4th: @ Albright. 7:30p.m.
April 8th: @ Millersville. 7:00p.m.

And obviously these would be a trek for many of you to get to, but you had your chance. I gave you ample warnings as to when our home dates were, but many (most) of you refused to go. These are the last of your chances. You'd be best not to squander this away.

Just Disapear

I think I'm gonna get on the bandwagon. Everywhere I turn people have said 'this week is real bad' or 'I want this week to end right now.' And I didn't see it until now.

Now I think I'm gonna have to say 'get this fucking week over'.

Between my legs burning like fire whenever I walk, to the shitty weather, to the reading I probably should have done, this week is just getting worse and worse.

I think this weekend I need to leave and find myself. Just disapear into the woods and spend a few hours there getting to know myself, to recompose myself and figure out who I should be and who everyone else wants to be.

It'll be my form of meditation, to get away from the world and the school and the people I surrond myself with.

I need to get away and just disapear.

This Week's List

1. So if he was one, would they have put his year behind his name? In the email from Gregory Stanson"He is not a graduate of this College."

2. Just say it once, you'll be stuck on it for. Ever. Say it with me now, you know you want to: Mike Layser pzoom.

3. It looks like the ducks are back and have a very bad case of diarrhea: I love it when maintanence does whatever it does to the grass to give those little cylinder mud brick thingies.

4. At least I used my blinker. Gotta find the best in all situations.

5. Obviously the time difference across town is noticable, even if it is 3 blocks: The Humanities clock tower and some other Annville clock tower ring at different times for each 'on the hour'.

6. It's not like I'm 5 foot nothing and have no hops, I mean I do have long arms and all: Screw you Villanova guy for being surprised I could block that hit.

7. Now wait Mister Announcer Bob person, is it Bis-ON, or Bison? I say Bison, your partner says Bison, but you say Bis-ON. Well someone is wrong, and niether one of you has corrected the other. Odd.

8."He's shooting 83% from the line. Automatic." Actually, I beg to differ. Automatic would be 100%, don't even give him the ball. That would be automatic.

9. We went from whenever the Eagles gave up a touchdown to whenever an underdog busted a bracket to hear this echoing down the hall: #@%%@#&%!!

10. Oh sweet, sweet justice. All night I hear 'Simien this, Simien that'.: Well Simien missed the game winning shot and the #3 seed goes home in the first round.

11. Apparently money for the gym didn't go to a decent paint job on the 'LVC': The paint is chipping? Already?

12. Even though warmer weather is coming, you should never forget what the signs tell you: 'Bridge may be icy'.

13. I've changed more times than a human of the female persuasion going on her first date: Earrings that is. I think this is my fourth.

14. I take it to be like the 's, I can place it wherever I want to, whenever I feel like it: Line breaks in longer, newspaper column posts.

15. I think we should have played beach volleyball: Yesterday was great outside, and we were stuck in a building with no windows. Today is shitty and we only play one game and actually have time to go outside. Thanks mother nature, thanks.

This Week's List

1. Now we know the answer to the eternal question, 'What is there to do at 2 p.m. on a Thursday in Annville, PA?: (Female student yelling out the window of a moving car) We're going to the bar!

2. And I don't think I'm ever going to be able to look at the Kool-Aid man the same way again. Ever. He is red, which I guess gives it away: "So it tastes just like Kool-Aid?"

3. Just like it isn't the fall that will kill you, it's the landing: Going upstairs is fine, it's the downstairs part that hurts. A lot.

4. Not quite the response to 'A fun Friday night' comment I was expecting: 'We did the Relay for Life and threw a frisbee while we were walking.' So thought he was gonna say something along the lines of 'drinking' and 'beer' and maybe 'markers to his face as he lay in his own puke'. But that might just be me.

5. I know 'If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all...', but come on, this is ridiculus: Have I really been this lanky? Why hasn't anyone told me?!?

6. It's like winning $100 in the lottery, the reward makes all the money wasted seem so trivial: Ah, the 'good job' comment. Makes this so(mewhat) worthwhile.

7. Another reason to get a better chair for the dorm room, besides the uncomfortableness factor: 3 of the 4 screws holding the back support to the frame fell out at once. Awesome.

8. Apparently we are working on Sydney time here: Quiet hours start at a certain time every weekend. But it isn't the time posted on the (freshly destroyed) bulletin board in the hall.

9: It's my own personal alarm clock, except it isn't mine alone and it doesn't make any noise, but gives off a lot of heat. So in other words it's instead a silent, communal microwave: With the blinds open I can wake at 8:30-ish a.m. no matter when I went to bed because the sun comes BOOM! right in my face.

10. And you were making fun of my screwdriver set? Pity on you. Pity: That set has the wierd square screwdriver thing that keeps my chair together for another day. Now if only it had some wood glue for my desk drawer.

11. Now can the game really change that much in 10 seconds to warrent another timeout?: Apparently the coach K thought so. Didn't like the matchup with the GT personel, obviously.

12. I'm watching more and more, and I still have no idea, sorta like girls, I talk to them but I still don't know what anything means: I'm watching more basketball and I don't know what a foul is. Or isn't.

Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me?

Forget the bluriness, my dad doesn't realize the digital camera isn't taking the picture until the screen turns black. This is probably the best of the batch, honestly.

Ok, so apparently I'm lanky and I didn't realize it. I guess the girl from Clueless had it right when she took polaroids of every outfit she tried on because she didn't trust mirrors. I've seen myself in mirrors before, and I didn't notice anything wrong, but after looking at this picture I've come to a realization: I'm not just tall, I'm lanky. Just look at my arms.

I knew I had a longer wingspan than I am tall, but I didn't really think that made me lanky. But apparently it does.

When looking at the pictures my dad took of my volleyball tournament at Messiah (that I made it to on time, barely, thank you very much) that was the first thing I noticed (well after I got rid of the ones that were blurry, and the ones where I'm not even in them). I guess there is nothing wrong with me being lanky, some people have to be lanky while others are fat, but still this is a harsh realization. If only someone would have told me sooner.

Oh sure, when I bring it up they admit I am lanky, but why couldn't they say this earlier? That way these pictures wouldn't have been such a shock to me. And they were, I was not expecting each arm to look like it's the length of my body.

I guess this is one thing I can hate about my body.

Well this and my lips.

What if you can't move?

American Star
Originally uploaded by FastPhive.

What if you are stuck in one place and can't move? What if you have the desire to move, you long to move, you long to change the direction of the position you are in, but you can't? What if you have, a long time ago, had the desire to change the way you were acting, to be a different person, but you haven't yet changed to your liking? Like there was one thing you hated about yourself and tried to change, you knew it was bringing you down, but no matter how often you thought about it and tried to change it, you just couldn't.

And that's the way I feel. I know what I want to do, I just can't do it. I want to change my ways, there is one thing I have told myself to do, but for whatever reason I can't. Whenever I think this is the time, I brace for the worst. My hands start sweating, my heart starts racing, my mind goes blank, and nothing that I want to happen actually happens.

It's one of the worst feeling in the world to have.

It's the fear that holds me back. I want to change, I know I need to change. I'm like a ship stuck on a reef. I know it isn't the right place to be, it doesn't feel good, but there's nothing I can do. The one thing that can save the ship is high tide, but that's still 6 hours away. By then the ship's hull would have been ripped apart, water would have flooded the compartments and the occupants floundering on the reef.

I've been waiting for high tide and it ain't coming.

So like the American Star, I can't change course, even with the water tearing at my bow.

(As you can see I'm having fun with this flickr.com thing. The right montage are pictures I took and are part of my pages, and it makes it easy to browse by 'tagline' and insert into blogs pictures taken by others. I enjoy it, and you should too. If you don't like words, you can just look at the pictures.)

Leave it to those Germans

Written in November 2004 by Mathias Döpfner, Chief Executive of German publisher Axel Springer AG.

Europe – Thy Name is Cowardice

Commentary by Mathias Döpfner

A few days ago Henryk M. Broder wrote in Welt am Sonntag, "Europe – your family name is appeasement." It’s a phrase you can’t get out of your head because it’s so terribly true.

Appeasement cost millions of Jews and non-Jews their lives as England and France, allies at the time, negotiated and hesitated too long before they noticed that Hitler had to be fought, not bound to agreements. Appeasement stabilized communism in the Soviet Union and East Germany in that part of Europe where inhuman, suppressive governments were glorified as the ideologically correct alternative to all other possibilities. Appeasement crippled Europe when genocide ran rampant in Kosovo and we Europeans debated and debated until the Americans came in and did our work for us. Rather than protecting democracy in the Middle East, European appeasement, camouflaged behind the fuzzy word "equidistance," now countenances suicide bombings in Israel by fundamentalist Palestinians. Appeasement generates a mentality that allows Europe to ignore 300,000 victims of Saddam’s torture and murder machinery and, motivated by the self-righteousness of the peace-movement, to issue bad grades to George Bush. A particularly grotesque form of appeasement is reacting to the escalating violence by Islamic fundamentalists in Holland and elsewhere by suggesting that we should really have a Muslim holiday in Germany.

What else has to happen before the European public and its political leadership get it? There is a sort of crusade underway, an especially perfidious crusade consisting of systematic attacks by fanatic Muslims, focused on civilians and directed against our free, open Western societies. It is a conflict that will most likely last longer than the great military conflicts of the last century—a conflict conducted by an enemy that cannot be tamed by tolerance and accommodation but only spurred on by such gestures, which will be mistaken for signs of weakness.

Two recent American presidents had the courage needed for anti-appeasement: Reagan and Bush. Reagan ended the Cold War and Bush, supported only by the social democrat Blair acting on moral conviction, recognized the danger in the Islamic fight against democracy. His place in history will have to be evaluated after a number of years have passed.

In the meantime, Europe sits back with charismatic self-confidence in the multicultural corner instead of defending liberal society’s values and being an attractive center of power on the same playing field as the true great powers, America and China. On the contrary—we Europeans present ourselves, in contrast to the intolerant, as world champions in tolerance, which even (Germany's Interior Minister) Otto Schily justifiably criticizes. Why? Because we’re so moral? I fear it’s more because we’re so materialistic.

For his policies, Bush risks the fall of the dollar, huge amounts of additional national debt and a massive and persistent burden on the American economy—because everything is at stake.

While the alleged capitalistic robber barons in American know their priorities, we timidly defend our social welfare systems. Stay out of it! It could get expensive. We’d rather discuss the 35-hour workweek or our dental health plan coverage. Or listen to TV pastors preach about "reaching out to murderers." These days, Europe reminds me of an elderly aunt who hides her last pieces of jewelry with shaking hands when she notices a robber has broken into a neighbor’s house. Europe, thy name is cowardice.

(This is pulled from a German media critic's site. Another version is floating around with parts added about the corrupt U.N. Oil for Food Program and the number of civilians killed by Saddam at 500,000.)

This Week's List

1. But I love darting out in traffic thinking the lights about to change: Washington D.C. has timers at all the crosswalks so pedestrians know how long they have before the "Stop" hand comes up. (Longest time to cross: 70 seconds. Shortest: 10 (across 5 lanes, yeah, right.)

2. False start. Disqualified. Pack up and go home, you're out: People crossing the stop bar before the light turns green. That's what the lights are there for people, to tell you when to go.

3. I have an idea, let's kick the kids out of school for a week, have the boys basketball team play at home, and have it snow when the day they leave and the first school day off. We'll call it Spring Break: I can't think of anything else to say really.

4. And now the answer to the question everyone has about and me and my pen: So I can write these down (on my hand) so I don't forget them.

5. Full of class and dignity, if'n he did cry. A lot. Trent Dilfer (winning QB for the Ravens in Super Bowl 35) traded from Seahawks (backup) to Browns (starter). Makes you wonder as to why the Ravens got rid of him actually.

6. Momma always told you not to eat while talking: Apparently my dad (or my step-mom) never got the message (this could be another article/column, really it could).

7. Cause honestly, what else is there to do during a 2 hour car ride? And poof, like that, 8 voice mails I get to listen to. They apparently pile up fast when you don't look at your phone.

8. It's like watching a child grow, except less messy, and if I ignore this for a month Protective Services doesn't come knocking on mydoor : The 'archives' section makes it look like I have a lot of previous posts, but we know most of them are crap. This thing didn't really start until 40 Random Thoughts.

9. I don't think they could really get away with a 'Drunk College Students' sign and had to go with the next best thing: 'Blind Child Area' and 'Deaf Child Area' signs leading into campus.

10. It would actually kinda make sense, in a wierd sort of way: Left lane has an arrow, exit lane has an arrow, but the right lane doesn't. I would assume it just ends, wouldn't you?

11. Kinda like a wolf in wool, only it actually turned out to be a sheep: I don't think any car should be allowed to look like a police car, undercover or marked.

12. No one's gonna see the bright yellow bobcat on the side of the road, we need some protection: Dump truck (with blinkers) following a bobcat (front loader, not the animal) that was driving on the shoulder (actual shoulder, wide enough for the bobcat) so drivers would see it (and block traffic. I really think that was the main reason, I swear the guy was laughing at me as I waited for clearance to pass).

13. Kinda like the mail, only less frequent and slightly more exciting: Can someone say 'appearing more often'? Cause it is. And will continue to be.

And that's this week's editions list.

Shimmy Shimmy Quarter Turn

(See, it's 25% of the bits I did for the first post, and it's also a song by Hellogoodbye, get it?)

1.Well someone's wrong, either Mother Nature or the calendar, cause the college never is: Spring Break Second winter break starting in February. Un-Freakin-Believable.

2. Like motorcycle gangs, only with smaller numbers. And larger vehicles: Carroll County snow plows taking to the streets en masse.

3. Would this make us the Anti-South Carolina? (Or at least explain why taxes are higher in MD): Any and every road is repaved, regardless of wear and tear, every. Three. Years.

4. At least she took him to the hospital: Woman in Alaska severs husband's penis from body, throws it down the toilet, drives him to the hospital, and returns home to clean the blood from her hands.

5. We'll just lump Texas and Oklahoma together, they're pretty close: When a snowstorm can be "drastically different over a 50 mile period," don't you think it would be prudent to give snow fall estimates for multiple cities, instead of lumping Baltimore and Philadelphia in with Washington D.C.?

6. BG&E, are you reading this?: I have wireless internet to roam the house and still be connected to the outside world, yet I still have to be connected to an outlet if I want to enjoy the wireless capabilities all day. Solution? WIRELESS ELECTRICITY!!!!

7. Just for the hell of it: I still hate Lynch Memorial Hall.

8. It's not annoying, it's my train away from Funk. Cause we know the train isn't annoying. Ever.: The oil heater 3 feet from my bed really puts me to sleep, especially when it won't. Shut. Up.

9. I think I may have found my passion, well, for the moment anyway: Photography.

10. It's like the piece of bread all the way at the bottom of the bag, you know, all moldy and crusty and stuff: The last blurb is always the hardest and the least exciting part of the post.

I Love Snow

The tree, it radiates.

I don't care what others think about the snow in their away messages, I love the snow. It covers up all the imperfections in the world with its nice own blanket. Looking over a field all you can see is white no matter where you look, so peaceful and mesmerizing.

The snow changes the landscape, transforms it from something brown, gray and dirty, into bright, white sereneness.

No matter how bad this Spring Break goes, I always have the snow to escape to...


...until it melts two days later. Stupid weather. I wanted to make an igloo.